Thursday, November 13, 2014

BOBBEE BEE: (PTSD) 33 Strategies of WAR

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We present everything you need to know about facing your foes, and all of life's battles, based on the book The 33 Strategies of War by best-selling author Robert Greene.

Greene has studied countless battles throughout history and pulled together the need-to-know strategies that can also be used for "winning the subtle social game of everyday life."

SELF-DIRECTED WARFARE


The first 4 strategies are all about getting your head in the game.
SELF-DIRECTED WARFARE
The mind is the starting point of all war and all strategy...

Declare war on your enemies

Declare war on your enemies

The Polarity Strategy

Life is endless battle and conflict, and you cannot fight effectively unless you can identify your enemies.

Learn to smoke out your enemies, to spot them by the signs and patterns that reveal hostility.
Then, once you have them in your sights, inwardly declare war.

Your enemies can fill you with purpose and direction.

Do not fight the past

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The Guerrilla-War-Of-The-Mind Strategy

Do not fight the past
What most often weighs you down and brings you misery is the past. You must consciously force yourself to react to the present moment. Be ruthless on yourself; do not repeat the same tired methods.

Amidst the turmoil of events, do not lose your presence of mindWage guerrilla war on your mind, allowing no static lines of defense — make everything fluid and mobile.

Amidst the turmoil of events, do not lose your presence of mind


The Counterbalance Strategy

In the heat of battle, the mind tends to lose its balance. It is vital to keep you presence of mind, maintaining your mental powers, whatever the circumstances. Make the mind tougher by exposing it to adversity. Learn to detach yourself from the chaos of the battlefield.

Create a sense of urgency and desperation
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The Death-Ground Strategy

You are your own worst enemy. You waste previous time dreaming of the future instead of engaging in the present. Cut your ties to the past — enter unknown territory. Place yourself on "death ground", where your back is against the wall and you have to fight like hell to get out alive.
Create a sense of urgency and desperation


ORGANIZATIONAL (TEAM) WARFARE

ORGANIZATIONAL (TEAM) WARFARE
The next 3 strategies are about making the most of your team.

Ideas and tactics mean nothing without an organized, responsive, creative, and motivated army.  

Avoid the snares of groupthink


The Command-And-Control Strategy

The problem in leading any group is that people inevitably have their own agendas. You have to create a chain of command in which they do not feel constrained by your influence yet follow your lead. Create a sense of participation, but do not fall into groupthink — the irrationality of collective decision making.


Avoid the snares of groupthink

Segment your forces

Segment your forces
The Controlled-Chaos Strategy

The critical elements in war are speed and adaptability — the ability to move and make decisions faster than the enemy.

Break forces into independent groups that can operate on their own.
Make your forces elusive and unstoppable by infusing them with the spirit of the campaign, giving them a mission to accomplish, and then letting them run.

Transform your war into a crusade

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Morale Strategy

The secret to motivating people and maintaining their morale is to get them to think less about themselves and more about the group. Involve them in a cause, a crusade against a hated enemy. Make them see their survival as tied to the success of the army as a whole.
Transform your war into a crusade

DEFENSIVE WARFARE

DEFENSIVE WARFARE
The next four strategies will reveal defensive warfare is the height of strategic wisdom — a powerful style of waging war.

Get ready to master the arts of deception.

Pick your battles carefully


The Perfect-Economy Strategy

We all have limitations — our energies and skills will take us only so far.

You must know your limits and pick your battles carefully. Consider the hidden costs of war: time lost, political goodwill squandered, an embittered enemy bent on revenge. Sometimes it is better to wait, to undermine your enemies covertly rather than hitting them straight on.
Pick your battles carefully

Turn the tables

Turn the tables
The Counterattack Strategy

Moving first — initiating the attack — will often put you at a disadvantage: You are exposing your strategy and limiting your options.
Instead, discover the power of holding back and letting the other side move first, giving you the flexibility to counterattack from any angle.
If your opponents are aggressive, bait them into a rash attack that will leave them in a weak position.

Create a threatening presence

Deterrence Strategies

The best way to fight off aggressors is to keep them from attacking you in the first place. Build up a reputation: You're a little crazy. Fighting you is not worth it. Uncertainty is sometimes better than overt threat: If your opponents are never sure what messing with you will cost, they will not want to find out.


Create a threatening presence
Trade space for time

The Non-Engagement Strategy

Trade space for timeTo retreat in the face of a strong enemy is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

By resisting the temptation to respond to an aggressor, you buy yourself valuable time — time to recover, to think, to gain perspective.

Sometimes you can accomplish most by doing nothing.

OFFENSIVE WARFARE


The next 11 strategies outline the form of warfare practiced by the most successful captains in history. 
OFFENSIVE WARFARE
The secret to their success is a blend of strategic cleverness and audacity — it will give all of your attacks much greater force.

Lose battles but end the war

Lose battles but end the war

Grand Strategy

It's the art of looking beyond the battle and calculating ahead.

It requires that you focus on your ultimate goal and plot to reach it.

Let others get caught up in the twists and turns of the battle, relishing their little victories.
Grand strategy will bring you the ultimate reward: the last laugh.

Know your enemy
The Intelligence Strategy

Know your enemy
The target of your strategies should be less the army you face than the mind or women who runs it. If you understand how that mind works, you have the key to deceiving and controlling it. Train yourself to read people, picking up the signals they unconsciously send about their innermost thoughts and intentions.

Overwhelm resistance with speed and suddennessOverwhelm resistance with speed and suddenness

The Blitzkrieg Strategy
In a world in which many people are indecisive and overly cautious, the use of speed will bring you untold power.

Striking first, before your opponents have time to think or prepare, will make them emotional, unbalanced, and prone to error.


Control the dynamic

Forcing Strategies
People are constantly struggling to control you. The only way to get the upper hand is to make your play for control more intelligence and insidious. Instead of trying to dominate the other side's every move, work to define the nature of the relationship itself.

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Maneuver to control your opponents' minds, pushing their emotional buttons and compelling them to make mistakes.

Hit them where it hurts


The Center-Of-Gravity Strategy

Hit them where it hurts
Everyone has a source of power on which he or she depends. When you look at your rivals, search below the surface for that source, the center of gravity that holds the entire structure together.
Hitting them there will inflict disproportionate pain.
Find what the other side most cherishes and protects — that is where you must strike.

Defeat them in denial


The Divide-And-Conquer Strategy


Never be intimated by your enemy's appearance. Instead, look at the parts that make up the whole. By separating the parts, sowing dissension and division, you can bring down even the most formidable foe.
Defeat them in denial

When you are facing troubles or enemies, turn a large problem into small, eminently defeatable parts.

Expose and attack your opponent's soft flank
Expose and attack your opponent's soft flank

The Turning Strategy

When you attack people directly, you stiffen their resistance and make your task that much harder. There is a better way: Distract your opponents' attention to the front, then attack them from the side, where they least expect it.

Bait people into going out on a limb exposing their weakness, then rake them with fire from the side.

Envelop the enemy

Envelop the enemy

The Annihilation Strategy

People will use any kind of gap in your defenses to attack you. So offer no gaps. The secret is to envelop your opponents — create relentless pressure on them from all sides and close off their access to the outside world.


As you send their weakening resolve, crush their willpower by tightening the noose.

Maneuver them into weakness


The Ripening-For-The-Sickle Strategy

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No matter how strong you are, fighting endless battles with people is exhausting, costly, and unimaginative. Wise strategist prefer the art of maneuver: Before the battle even begins, they find ways to put their opponents in positions of such weakness that victory is easy and quick. Create dilemmas: Devise maneuvers that give them a choice of ways to respond — all of them bad.

Maneuver them into weakness
Negotiate while advancing
Negotiate while advancing
The Diplomatic-War Strategy

Before and during negotiations, you must keep advancing, creating relentless pressure and compelling the other side to settle on your terms.

The more you take, the more you can give back in meaningless concessions.

Create a reputation for being tough and uncompromising, so that people are back on their heels before they even meet you.

Know how to end things

Know how to end things
The Exit Strategy
You are judged in this world by how well you bring things to an end. A messy or incomplete conclusion can reverberate for years to come.

The art of ending things well is knowing when to stop.

The height of strategic wisdom is to avoid all conflicts and entanglements from which there are no realistic exits.



UNCONVENTIONAL (DIRTY) WARFARE

The following 11 strategies will give a greater understanding of the diabolical psychology involved in dirty warfare, helping to arm you with the proper defense.
It gets nasty.  
UNCONVENTIONAL (DIRTY) WARFARE

Weave a seamless blend of fact and fiction


Weave a seamless blend of fact and fiction
Misconception Strategies

Since no creature can survive without the ability to see or sense what is going on around it, make it hard for your enemies to know what is going on around them, including what you are doing. Feed their expectations, manufacture a reality to match their desires, and they will fool themselves. Control people's perceptions of reality and you control them.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.

Take the line of least expectation

Take the line of least expectation
The Ordinary-Extraordinary Strategy

People expect your behavior to conform to known patterns and conventions. Your task as a strategist is to upset their expectations.


First do something ordinary and conventional to fix their image of you, then hit them with the extraordinary.


The terror is greater for being so sudden. Sometimes the ordinary is extraordinary because it is unexpected.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.

Occupy the moral high ground

The Righteous Strategy
Occupy the moral high ground
In a political world, the cause you are fighting for must seem more than just the enemy's. By questioning your opponents' motives and making them appear evil, you can narrow their base of support and room to maneuver.

When you find yourself come under moral attack from a clever enemy, do not whine or get angry; fight fire with fire.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.
Deny them targets

Deny them targets


The Strategy Of The Void

The feeling of emptiness or void — silence, isolation, non-engagement with others — is for most people intolerable.

Give your enemies no target to attack, be dangerous but elusive, then watch as they chase you into the void.

Instead of frontal battles, deliver irritating but damaging side attacks and pinprick bites.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.
Seem to work for the interests of others while furthering your own

Seem to work for the interests of others while furthering your own


The Alliance Strategy

The best way to advance your cause with the minimum of effort and bloodshed is to create a constantly shifting network of alliances, getting others to compensate for your deficiencies, do your dirty work, fight your wars. At the same time, you must work to sow dissension in the alliances of others, weakening your enemies by isolating them.


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Give your rivals enough rope to hang themselves

 
Give your rivals enough rope to hang themselves
The One-Upmanship Strategy

Life's greatest dangers often come not from external enemies but from our supposed colleagues and friend who pretend to work for the common cause while scheming to sabotage us. Work to instill doubts and insecurities in such rivals, getting them to think too much and act defensively. Make them hang themselves through their own self-destructive tendencies, leaving you blameless and clean.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.

Take small bites


The Fait Accompli Strategy

Overt power grabs and sharp rises to the top are dangerous, creating envy, distrust, and suspicion. Often the best solution is to take small bites, swallow little territories, playing upon people's relatively short attention spans. Before people realize it, you have accumulated an empire.

Take small bites
Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.

Penetrate their minds

Penetrate their minds

Communication Strategies

Communication is a kind of war, its field of battle is the resistant and defensive minds of the people you want to influence.


The goal is to penetrate their defenses and occupy their minds. Learn to infiltrate your ideas behind enemy lines, sending messages through little details, luring people into coming to the conclusions you desire and into thinking they've gotten there by themselves.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.

Destroy from within

The Inner-Front Strategy
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By infiltrating your opponents' ranks, working from within to bring them down, you give them nothing to see or react against — the ultimate advantage. To take something you want, do not fight those who have it, but rather join them — then either slowly make it your own or wait for the moment to stage a coup d'├ętat.
Destroy from within
Dominate while seeming to submit


The Passive-Aggression Strategy

In a world where political considerations are paramount, the most effective form of aggression is the best hidden one: aggression behind a compliant, even loving exterior. To follow the passive-aggression strategy you must seem to go along with people, offering no resistance. But actually you dominate the situation. Just make sure you have disguised your aggression enough that you can deny it exists.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.
Dominate while seeming to submit

Sow uncertainty and panic through acts of terror

Sow uncertainty and panic through acts of terror
The Chain-Reaction Strategy

Terror is the ultimate way to paralyze a people's will to resist and destroy their ability to plan a strategic response.


The goal in a terror campaign is not battlefield victory but causing maximum chaos and provoking the other side into desperate overreaction. To plot the most effective counter-strategy, victims of terror must stay balanced. One's rationality is the last line of defense.

Source: Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War.
A soldier's greatest weapon is himself

A soldier's greatest weapon is himself

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Sunday, November 09, 2014

BOBBEE BEE: Coping Tips for Siblings and Adult Children of Persons with Mental Illness

IMG_0005If you find it difficult to come to terms with your sibling's or parent's mental illness, there are many others who share your difficulty.

Most siblings and adult children of people with psychiatric disorders find that mental illness in a brother, sister, or parent is a tragic event that changes everyone's life in many basic ways.

Strange, unpredictable behavior in a loved one can be devastating, and your anxiety can be high as you struggle with each episode of illness and worry about the future. It seems impossible at first, but most siblings and adult children find that over time they do gain the knowledge and skills to cope with mental illness effectively. They do have strengths they never knew they had, and they can meet situations they never even anticipated. A good start in learning to cope is to find out as much as possible about mental illness, both by reading and talking with other families.

NAMI has books, pamphlets, fact sheets, and tapes available about different illnesses, treatments, and issues you may have to deal with, and you can join one of the 1,200 NAMI affiliate groups throughout the nation.

(For other resources and contact information about your state and local NAMI affiliates, call the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800/950-6264)

The following are some things to remember that should help you as you learn to live with mental illness in your family.

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  • You cannot cure a mental disorder for a parent or sibling
  • No one is to blame for the illness
  • Mental disorders affect more than the person who is ill.
  • Despite your best efforts, your loved one's symptoms may get worse, or they may improve.
  • If you feel extreme resentment, you are giving too much.
  • It is as hard for the parent or sibling to accept the disorder as it is for other family members
  • Acceptance of the disorder by all concerned may be helpful, but it is not necessary.
  • A delusion has little or nothing to do with reality, so it needs no discussion.
  • Separate the person from the disorder.
  • It is not OK for you to be neglected. You have emotional needs and wants, too.
  • The illness of a family member is nothing to be ashamed of. The reality is that you will likely encounter stigma from an apprehensive public.
  • You may have to revise your expectations of the ill person.
  • You may have to renegotiate your emotional relationship with the ill person.
  • Acknowledge the remarkable courage your sibling or parents may show when dealing with a mental disorder.
  • Generally, those closest in sibling order and gender become emotionally enmeshed while those further out become estranged.
  • Grief issues for siblings are about what you had and lost. For adult children, they are about what you never had.
  • After denial, sadness, and anger comes acceptance. The addition of understanding yields compassion.
  • It is absurd to believe you may correct a biological illness such as diabetes, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder with talk, although addressing social complications may be helpful.
  • Symptoms may change over time while the underlying disorder remains.
  • You should request the diagnosis and its explanation from professionals.
  • Mental health professionals have varied degrees of competence.
  • You have a right to ensure your professional safety.
  • Strange behavior is a symptom of the disorder. Don't take it personally.
  • Don't be afraid to ask your sibling or parent if he or she is thinking about hurting him or herself. Suicide is real.
  • Don't shoulder the whole responsibility for your mentally disordered relative yourself.
  • You are not a paid professional caseworker. Your role is to be a sibling or child, not a parent or caseworker.
  • The needs of the ill person do not necessarily always come first.
  • It is important to have boundaries and to set clear limits.
  • Just because a person has limited capabilities doesn't mean that you expect nothing of him or her.
  • It is natural to experience many and confusing emotions such as grief, guilt, fear, anger, sadness, hurt, confusion and more. You, not the ill person, are responsible for your own feelings.
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  • Inability to talk about your feelings may leave you stuck or "frozen."
  • You are not alone. Sharing your thoughts and feelings in a support group has been helpful and enlightening for many.
  • Eventually you may see the silver lining in the storm clouds: your own increased awareness, sensitivity, receptivity, compassion, and maturity. You may become less judgmental and self-centered, a better person.

Permission is granted for this fact sheet to be reproduced in its entirety, but it must include the NAMI name and contact.